Al-Anon Lifer

Anonymous sharings from a long-time member of Al-Anon, which is a safe place to recover from the effects of alcoholism in a friend or relative...

Monday, October 08, 2007

I Really Am Loved!

Sorry I've been gone from blogland. I was busy getting ready for my whole family of origin's visit. I wasted a lot of energy on what-ifs, you know, FEARs - Future Expectations Appearing Real. None of them really came true. The little things that were said or happened weren't that big, especially when I got my act - my head - my thoughts - together. When I realized that I had lost my serenity, that all I needed to do was say the Serenity Prayer, the God of my understanding took away my negative thoughts and the weekend went well.

That was two weeks ago. This last weekend was the complete opposite. I went to our state's Weekend-In-Al-Anon and heard over and over from people, in their words, smiles, and hugs, that they loved me. I didn't believe them, I never do, because those tapes from my childhood are huge, that I'm not loved, not even liked. But there was an exercise where the whole group whispered affirmations in each others' ears which made me, for the first time, feel truly loved. I need to remember that feeling - that it made me believe it, really, for the first time in my life.

God, let me never again dismiss it when someone tells me they love me or appreciate me, or when someone compliments me or gives me a hug. Let me remember that though my parents don't seem to have the ability to love me the way I needed to be loved as a child or adult, other people do and there are many more of them than in my family of origin. Thank you for my new family as well as for my spouse and the gift of sobriety in my home. Thank you for your love.

Amen.

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2 Comments:

At Monday, October 15, 2007 5:32:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! So glad to see you posting. I liked your interpretation of FEAR. One used around my area is False Evidence Appearing Real. I'll make an effort to remember Future Expectations Appearing Real as well.

At least once a day I look into my bathroom mirror, as it is the best lighted mirror in my home. I get close enough to the mirror (without my glasses on, since I am extremely near-sighted) and I look into one of my eyes until I see myself reflected in my iris/pupil. Then I say to my reflected self, "I love you and accept you just the way you are." Then I look into the other eye, find my reflection, and say, "God loves you and accepts you just the way you are."

Finding out who we are and loving that person, faults and all, is one of the most precious gifts of our program. Peace and Love to you, my friend.

 
At Wednesday, October 17, 2007 8:57:00 PM, Blogger ~MsManna~ said...

AMEN!!! God is good isn't He!!! Keep coming back!!!

 

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