Are You Ready to be a Sponsor?

This is in reply to a question I received on a sponsorship post from 2007:

You are ready to be a sponsor if you have worked the steps. In so doing, you are ready to pass on what you have received. That does not mean that you need to be perfect or have it all together. Progress not perfection is part of sponsorship, too. I have made many "mistakes" which have turned out to be lessons for myself. I also learn much from my sponsees, often amazed at how strong and spiritual they are, wondering why they are coming to me for help? I guess they see something in me they want, which helps me see just how far I have come.

As far as reading about sponsorship, there are Al-Anon pamphlets and indexes in all the books. But if someone asks you to be a sponsor, you are ready. I assume you have a sponsor? Perhaps just pass on to your sponsee(s) in the same way your sponsor has passed the program on to you. Or go with the flow - what does your sponsee need? To work the steps. Then have them go to a step study meeting or go through the steps with them using any of our literature. Give them assignments to answer the questions at the end of the chapters in Paths to Recovery, or have them go through the Blueprint for Progress.

Keep in mind that you are not a guru, just a guide, but the real guide is both of your HP(s). If there is only one rule I have for myself as a sponsor it is to keep my sponsee(s) focused on the solution rather than the problem, and that means focused on their own recovery rather than continually complaining about the alcoholics or other miseries in their lives. It really is a learning process for all of us. It is like doing any service work. You learn it by doing it. So just do it!

I Learned Something Old Today

Once again, I have not been posting. Probably because I haven't had much to share, even though I always seem to open my mouth at meetings :-)

Anyway, this morning I wrote something in my 4th Step Journal, Al-Anon's "Blueprint for Progress," that emphasized once again what is and has been true for me for a long time:

That most of my outward life depends on my inner life.

In our meeting format, we read that we can find happiness and contentment whether the alcoholic is drinking or not. I found this to be true, having found joy in my life long before my spouse got sober.

Likewise, I can be unhappy or discontent even with a sober spouse who is working a good program and being good to me. I've always been in charge of how I react rather than respond to life. Most of it does come down to my attitude.

May you find serenity tonight and tomorrow just for the asking...