Al-Anon Lifer

Anonymous sharings from a long-time member of Al-Anon, which is a safe place to recover from the effects of alcoholism in a friend or relative...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Spiraling UP...

Right now, Just for Today, I feel like I'm in the exact same place I was when I started this blog several years ago. I'm still dealing with unresolved issues with my blood father whom I haven't seen in a decade. Yet, I'm not spiritually in the same place. I've made a lot of progress. For example, this morning when I woke up earlier than usual, feeling down, I decided to change my mood through serious step work.

Because I am feeling powerless over this particular relationship, I worked on Step One. I found the perfect reading in Al-Anon's newest book, Discovering Choices - the introduction to the chapter on detachment. It became clear to me that I was still attempting to control another person, to fix him and the relationship. Even though I haven't done anything outwardly, I spend too much thinking it about it, thinking that I should do something to fix it.

I had to ask God to help me let go of my wanting to control, to surrender, which I thought I had done but apparently not 100%. Will I ever be able to do it 100%? I don't know, but I can continue to ask and continue to release it. I don't have to let it bring me down. I don't need to spiral downward like I have so many other times. Instead, I can spiral upwards towards my goal of serenity. I can invest my time in things I can do and things I want to do.

Just for Today.

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At Wednesday, February 10, 2010 2:26:00 PM, Blogger Kim A. said...

That is a wonderful book. I understand how hard it is to let go at times..for me, it is with my son. It is small steps for all adds up as progress. ::hugs::


At Saturday, February 20, 2010 9:52:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good for you. Thank you for those thoughts. I am also working on step one. I feel completely powerless over the alcoholic but still find myself where you are--trying to control by obsessing and thinking and obsessing and thinking.

At Monday, February 22, 2010 1:01:00 PM, Blogger The Recovering Wife said...

Thanks for the book referral, I'm going to get it today. And thank you for your thoughts! I'm new to the blogging world, and I'm thrilled to find some others out there who share some of my feelings.


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