Sad and Serene
My sponsor tells me I'm grieving my relationship with my parents, that it will never be what I wanted as a child, a young adult, and now a middle-aged woman. I realized at a meeting yesterday that being sad, which is a feeling one gets from grief, is okay. That I can still be serene. In other words, serenity doesn't mean happiness - jumping up and down with joy. It means contentment and acceptance. This really helped me to realize that it's okay to feel sad. It's part of my process in recovery. Plus, just realizing this lifted my spirits since I stopped beating myself up over being sad. It is what it is, and today is a better day.
3 Comments:
Thanks for the post.
Your sponsor is so right on with that sadness from Grief. I think a lot of us grieve in this way regarding what we would like from our parents. I tell my sponsee that we come to the table with our own baggage. Our parents come that way too.
"Serenity is not happiness" That is a keeper. Alanon allows me the room to learn this. I'm glad you aren't beating yourself up anymore. I am exactly where you are as far as the family thing. I have realized I don't have to understand the why's anymore. My path is my path and that is okay!
Namaste
Thanks for your post I too have alot of sadness around my parents.
The program has given me a safe place to release some of my pain.
Grateful to have a program
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