Al-Anon Lifer

Anonymous sharings from a long-time member of Al-Anon, which is a safe place to recover from the effects of alcoholism in a friend or relative...

Monday, December 07, 2009

Sad and Serene

My sponsor tells me I'm grieving my relationship with my parents, that it will never be what I wanted as a child, a young adult, and now a middle-aged woman. I realized at a meeting yesterday that being sad, which is a feeling one gets from grief, is okay. That I can still be serene. In other words, serenity doesn't mean happiness - jumping up and down with joy. It means contentment and acceptance. This really helped me to realize that it's okay to feel sad. It's part of my process in recovery. Plus, just realizing this lifted my spirits since I stopped beating myself up over being sad. It is what it is, and today is a better day.

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At Monday, December 07, 2009 3:05:00 PM, Anonymous Mike said...

Thanks for the post.
Your sponsor is so right on with that sadness from Grief. I think a lot of us grieve in this way regarding what we would like from our parents. I tell my sponsee that we come to the table with our own baggage. Our parents come that way too.

At Monday, December 07, 2009 10:04:00 PM, Blogger Kim A. said...

"Serenity is not happiness" That is a keeper. Alanon allows me the room to learn this. I'm glad you aren't beating yourself up anymore. I am exactly where you are as far as the family thing. I have realized I don't have to understand the why's anymore. My path is my path and that is okay!


At Friday, December 25, 2009 11:45:00 PM, Blogger Di-Git said...

Thanks for your post I too have alot of sadness around my parents.
The program has given me a safe place to release some of my pain.
Grateful to have a program


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