PURE JOY!!

It wasn't very long ago that I was wishing to have my dog's mind, at least as far as her disposition goes. She's consistent in both her actions and attitudes. She's always at the door to greet me, wagging her tail whether I've been gone 5 minutes or 5 hours. She may be a little extra hungry if I get home late to feed her, but she doesn't hold a grudge. She didn't even hold a grudge the time we left her out in the pouring rain (unintentionally) while we went to a movie.

Today, however, she did something out of the ordinary. I was folding clothes in my bedroom upstairs and she bounded up the stairs all excited. "She must have been outside," I thought, "and wants a snack." Instead, she began running from room to room, all on her own. I say all on her own because this is the game we play with her when we haven't had a chance to take her for a walk. We take turns calling her and she runs back and forth, jumping up on the couch in the loft and then the bed in the bedroom. All I had to do today to keep her going was say "go" and "come" and she ran for at least five minutes, as happy as could be. "Pure joy," I laughed, "she's happy and running just for the joy of it."

Oh, how hard it is for me to be happy and do things just for the joy of it. Like playing the piano or writing a poem. Today is one of my good days, even though I'm home alone all day doing laundry and cleaning house. I could have decided not to be happy today when I woke up late and thought, "Oh, no, I have so much to do!" Instead, I said, "Wonderful, it's cold and snowy outside and I don't have to go anywhere. I get to stay home all day and be domestic, maybe bake something with those two ripe bananas, maybe even write something..."

Recovery is all about our attitude. I've said so many times in meetings that nothing really changed in my life but my attitude, and that made all the difference. How grateful I am for my happy dog who shows me over and over again that life is for living right here, right now. She's so patient, waiting for me to do things with her, and so forgiving when I ignore her for days. So today I gave her an extra snack because she helped me hold onto the joy I had chosen this morning. Just for today, just for joy, pure joy!!